Okay… sorry there’s been a bit of a delay since my last post! I’m cramming three weeks into one here, but a lot has happened.
Week 4: Greyness, Brooklyn Shoots, and City Whiplash
On Tuesday (after Labor Day weekend), my classes began. My first class (Film Theory) was a nice, gentle ease-in to the course. We just watched a few short films and the feature film Rashomon - which was great. The next day, we had our first class with our Directing professor. He’s a complete character and absolute icon in the industry so it was quite intense as he laid out what was ahead for us over the next year, but it was also inspiring. We finished the class by being given our first assignment: make a film in less than a week based on the prompt “greyness.” When we asked for clarification, his answer was vague, so we could pretty much do what we wanted.
Thursday brought my first scriptwriting class (which was also brilliant - our Professor is really cool). By Friday I was beginning to panic about my film assignment so I started pulling together a team. During my first week in the city, I’d gone to a Brooklyn filmmakers networking event and met a sound person and an actress there. Miraculously, both were free for a Saturday shoot so the only thing left to find was a DP (Cinematographer). I asked around, but nobody seemed to be free. I was about to give up and just shoot it myself when I remembered - conveniently - that my lovely friend from back home (who is a very talented filmmaker) had just landed in New York. I begged him and his travel companion to help me and - thankfully - they said yes.
We shot around Brooklyn on Saturday morning and then headed into Manhattan to shoot the rest. I was attempting to capture the emotional highs and lows of trying to make it in New York as a creative. You can see the film below and judge for yourself, but I don’t think it’s too bad considering it was my first assignment.
A quick side note on that: I’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed lately. I love this city, but you’re constantly dealing with two extremes. One minute you’re thinking, “I’m here to make my dream come true and everything is great,” and the next you realise you’re just one in a million trying to make it. I don’t know…the emotional whiplash is insane, so I’m trying to find a way to cope with that.
Week 5: Bordeaux, Flu, and the Karma of Kindness
By Sunday I felt shattered (I’d been out both Friday and Saturday night enjoying New York’s night life), but I also needed to edit. Monday came around so fast, dragging me straight into classes, and it quickly dawned on me how tight these deadlines would be.
Our Monday class is on producing - it’s very interesting, but again intense, focusing on budgets and the reality of what it takes to get things made. All of these production skills are building up toward our final thesis films (which we’ll shoot in February).
Tuesday was my lovely chill film theory class. I can’t remember what we watched, but it was a series of shorts so I’ll find the names for you.
Our directing class on Wednesday came around fast. In the class, you get live critiques from your cohort and the Professor which is nerve-wracking but also kind of fun. People enjoyed my first assignment and it was great seeing the other directors’ films and their styles. At the end of the class our Professor handed out crayons and made us pick a colour for our next assignment. I got “Bordeaux”... which gave me a lot to play with.
But… there was a tiny bit of me like…shit, I can’t believe we have to do this all again. Naturally, I went out for drinks afterward and ended up singing Wuthering Heights in a karaoke bar which was probably not my wisest move because….
…by Thursday, my body gave up. I could feel a flu coming, but I tried to “mind over matter” it and instead spent the day scrambling a team together for a Saturday shoot. That evening, we had a screenwriters’ mixer, and as I coughed over very talented potential future collaborators I realised: Okay, maybe I am actually quite ill.
On Friday, I was feeling very sorry for myself because I had yet to find an actor and I was getting sicker and sicker. But I had a lovely pep talk with my Mum and miraculously an actor fell from the heavens at 9pm that night, so everything started coming together for my Saturday shoot. It was my friend’s last day in New York, so that evening I went to see Maybe Happy Ending on Broadway, which was phenomenal. I went to bed early, ready to shoot the next day.
Another side note: The previous week - amidst all the chaos and editing - I had committed to a filmmaking project centred on random acts of kindness on the street. I met so many cool people through the project and got to explore Harlem, but a part of me kept asking, “Why are you doing this when you should be editing?” But I wanted to give back to the filmmaking community, and it felt like a lovely initiative. In true karma fashion, it was actually someone I met through that event who reached out on Friday night and found me my actor so… just to say… good deeds can reap rewards.
Stepping Into the Director Role
The shoot on Saturday was brilliant (despite feeling desperately ill) and the project felt elevated with a fantastic DP and actor. I’m really trying to embrace the role of a Director now: building out my team quickly, even without a budget, so I can focus on Directing. The creative talent in New York is so generous, and I’m deeply inspired by how much people just want to create here…so I’m trying to utilise that.
I managed to secure an editor for this project too which elevated the film even further. The editor was a director himself and had just shot his first feature film which I found really inspiring (he’s about four years younger than me). I don’t know, there’s something in the air here - for all its flaws and capitalist agendas, people genuinely believe they can achieve anything which is a breath of fresh air. There’s a positivity in all the craziness that’s infectious.
I’ve also been surprised by the conversations I’ve had with different Americans about their government, Palestine, and other polarising topics that seem to dominate the news. Of course, there are deep feelings involved, but it’s been refreshing to realise that thoughtful, one-on-one discussions can actually happen.
Week 6: Rest, Gaelic Connections, and Learning to Slow Down
Sunday and Monday were spent editing, and by Tuesday, my body completely gave up. I stayed in bed all day feeling sick and weird. I was still trying to “mind over matter” it, but it was definitely a proper flu.
We screened our films again on Wednesday and it went really well - the Professor loved mine! You can see Bordeaux here »
Our next theme is Humiliation, and I’m already stressing about the deadline… though thankfully we have two full weeks for this one. Because of that, I gave myself permission to sleep all day Thursday and Friday.
Last night, I met my first Gaelic speaker in the city - a lovely academic from the Isle of Skye who now lives in Australia. He’s doing really interesting work in practice-based PhDs, and it was so comforting to connect with someone from back home. It’s also nice to know that my films are reaching these people.
I’m still not feeling 100% and am currently writing this from the comfort of my own bed. As my flatmate keeps reminding me: I need to slow down and stop saying yes to everything. But this city has so much potential and I want to squeeze every little ounce out of it that I can.
But, for now, I’m making a genuine effort to slow down, chill out, and get healthy again.
Slàinte mhath!
PS. I still haven’t seen Mamdani despite the fact he lives around the corner.
PPS. I’ve been invited to my first BAFTA Tea Party next Sunday...so perhaps a few famous faces will show up there.
Sounds a very pressurised creative environment but I'm sure you'll get used to the pace. You won a Fulbright for a reason: you are gifted 😉 Hang in there!